I am sitting in the kitchen of our Russian flat watching the sun begin to set at 9:00PM Friday evening. Connor is in our room with Matt watching Curious George and getting ready for bed. We have a long day tomorrow as we travel back to Texas. As I sit hear listening to the cars and the people outside I can't help but smile up at God with pure joy in my heart!! This has been a difficult week for Matt and I (and I am sure little Connor), but such a blessed week.
Tuesday Matt and Alla spent most of the day running all over the city submitting paperwork while Connor and I were at the flat watching it rain! It was a LONG day and Connor and I were a little crazy after being stuck in a little room most of the day. That evening Matt and I were homesick, hungry, tired and emotional!!
"Although My presence is a guaranteed promise, that does not change your feelings. When you forget I am with you, your may experience loneliness or fear. It is through awareness of My presence that Peace displaces negative feelings." Sarah Young We knew we had to give it all to God. The next morning I prayed asking for strength to get through this week, blessing to come in different forms than we were used to, and a different outlook on why we were still here. Wednesday, Thursday, and today have been wonderful! We have taken walks each afternoon, enjoyed watching Connor's many "firsts" like going to the mall to get new shoes and a new stroller! It has been a blessing to have these days to get to know Connor more.
"The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace." Psalm 29:11
Today we had our interview at the US Embassy. Our driver picked us up at 9:45AM for our 11:30AM appointment. 10:30 then 11:00 passed and we STILL were not there! Matt and I began to get nervous. The traffic was terrible and we were only moving a few feet every few minutes. WE HAD TO MAKE THIS APPOINTMENT! If we did not make it we would have to come back Monday! 11:15 passes and we are still in traffic. Matt and I were praying like crazy for God to speed the traffic up or open up a spot for us to move on up in the line. We knew that God had a plan and that we just had to have faith that we would make it (sounds like the entire adoption process)!! At 11:22AM we pulled up to the US Embassy! We flew out of the car and made it to our appointment at EXACTLY 11:30AM! WHEW!!! Our hearts were racing and Connor had no clue what all the fuss was about! We got his visa and by 12:10PM we were completely finished! When we go back to the flat what do you think I started doing...PACKING!
To put all that Matt and I have been and are feeling into perspective for you, a dear friend sent us this email a few days ago and it was
perfect! I wanted to share it with you.
Remember when Madilyn (our daughter) was born? You'd waited 9 months for the anticipated day of her birth, you'd gotten everything ready, not really knowing when it was all going to happen, had times of not feeling well, being a bit scared about what you were facing, etc.? You had doctor appointments and saw the first sonogram, then the second. She started moving, and the reality of "this is really a little person in here that is going to be ours" started to set in. It was very exciting. Then, the day finally came and you ended up going to the hospital to have the baby. Even after getting there, you didn't really know when she was going to come, what to really expect, etc. Then, she was born, and you were overjoyed at seeing her for the first time, knowing she's yours (even though you've knew she was yours since you found out you were expecting), holding her, thinking about the neat experience and miracles you just witnessed, etc. Nine months of anticipation just came to pass. Everyone that was waiting with you -- parents, friends, etc., were so excited to get the news and excited to see the new little one. During the next couple of days, you began to have thoughts about what it meant to really be a parent because now you finally were one! Then you wondered if you'd know how to do everything, how to handle the things she needs, how to tend to her, how to teach her, love her, etc. Then, a couple of days later it was time to bring her home. And you took her home, driving 20 mph from the hospital to your house, taking every precaution you could. You took her into your house, knowing that your house and lives would never be the same. It was a daunting thought and task, and you wondered about all sorts of things.
Now, take all of that, and let's put Connor in the whole situation.
You've waited 9 months for the anticipated day of bringing him home, you've gotten everything ready, not really knowing when it was all going to happen, had times of not feeling all that great because of the unknowns, the red tape, the obstacles, etc. You were a bit scared about what you were facing -- taking on a child from another country with special needs, from an orphanage, medical concerns, cultural barriers, etc. You had appointments with lots of different people. You saw pictures, medical records, information about him and the place where he was. You went to Russia in November and saw him the first time in person. You saw him moving and interacting with you and others, and the reality of "this is really a little person in this orphanage that is going to be ours" started to set in. Then, the time finally came and you went back to Russia for another visit to adopt a little boy. Even after getting there, you didn't really know when, or if, it was actually going to happen, what to really expect, etc. Then, the day of the hearing came, and you were overjoyed at knowing for the first time that he's legally your son, knowing he's yours, holding him, thinking about the neat experiences and miracles you've witnessed all along the way to get him here, etc. Everyone that was waiting with you -- parents, friends, other family, etc., were so excited to get the news and excited to get to see the new little one. Then, a couple of days later you were ready to bring him home, but you had to wait -- another excruciating 2+ weeks to go back and get him and see him. In that intervening time, you began to have thoughts about what it means to really be a parent of a little boy named Connor because now you are his parents! Then you wonder if you'll know how to do everything, how to handle the things he needs, how you'll tend to him, how you'll teach him, love him, etc. And you go back and you get to take him home, waiting for the long trip from an orphanage in Russia to your house, and having to stay there while the other little one you love more than anything in the world waits here for her world to be rocked. Mix all of this with you both knowing that your house and lives will never be the same. It's a daunting thought and task, and you are wondering about all sorts of things. And you can't get home soon enough, so you have to wait . . . AGAIN, for the next chapter to take place.
That pretty much sums it all up!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God had been so amazing through this entire process! We are so blessed and thankful to have Connor and to bring him home to be a part of our family!
One of the scriptures that has been with me through this entire process is
2 Corinthians 5:7 "We live by faith, not by sight." This scripture has a new meaning to me. I have known it my entire life, but it has not made as much sense as it does now. Matt and I would not be where we are now if we had lived by sight! Faith in our Heavenly Father and His hand guiding us through every big and small part is why we are where we are!!!!
"The challenge continually before you is to trust Me and search for My way through each day. Do not blindly follow your habitual route, or you will miss what I have prepared for you." Sarah Young
Just think what Matt, Madilyn and I would have missed out on...Connor too!!!
Pictures to come when we get back home!
